If you have someone in your circle who has an addiction you may find that your time, money and emotional energy become focused on them. This can be to the detriment of other people in your life, and also to you. It might be a difficult journey and it may take time, but when you realise that the person with the addiction will use up all of your time, money and emotional energy, just as they are using up drugs and/or alcohol……it is a good thing. This shows that, despite your sacrifices and all your input, things have remained the same for the addict.
Balance is a very important thing in life. We all like to reward ourselves with an extra cake, new shoes, a day out. But, when we are in balance, we take other things into consideration as well. For example, if we need to pay the electricity bill, we will do that before getting the new shoes we don’t really need. We will keep in contact with family and friends and take time for ourselves.
Addiction destroys balance. As the addict’s world becomes chaotic, they look to others to pick up the consequences of their actions. When this happens, there is no need for the addict to think about changing what they do if you are the one doing all the changing.
Let’s think about what you might be losing when you are out of balance because of someone else’s addiction:
Stop – let’s draw breath!
Do you recognise any of the effects listed above?
If you do, you can think about how you can begin to make changes – you don’t need to do everything at once just identify one thing you can do differently and let yourself make a change……for your sanity!……..For your health!…..for your happiness!
This is important because you can only change what you do. You cannot control or change what the person with the addiction does, but if you can make small changes you will feel less stuck and the people around you will respond.